The Art of Complaining Or Mick Jagger & Yoda Are Correct

In the Rolling Stones' song, "You Can't Always Get What You Want," the chorus says: "You can't always get what you want, But if you try sometime you find, You get what you need."

If you don't try or ask for what you want, it's obviously impossible to get it, whatever it is.  I hope after you read this Blog, you'll be inspired to get what you want, even if it seems like it can't happen.  

To conflict a bit with Mick, as Yoda said: "Try not. Do, or do not. There is no try".

Last week, I noticed that TiVo had almost doubled my monthly fee from $6.95 to $12.95 and I never got any notice.  I guess I better check my automatic payments a little more closely, but still, that was bad customer service!

So I called up TiVo and said I was cancelling my TiVo box because of the fee hike and also I don't use it as much because I've got a HiDef Comcast DVR.  I went around and around with Customer Service Lady for a while and I was just about to hang up and then she said: "Well, you've been an excellent customer for seven years, so we could switch your TiVo over to a Lifetime subscriptions for only $99, instead of the regular price of $499."  Well then...Steve...It's a Bonanza!  I heard that!!!  It's not something you'll find on the tivo.com website.  That pays itself off in 7.6 months and massively increases the value if I want to sell it.

Sometimes you have to go to the top to get your complaint heard. If the regular customer service person can't help you, then do the following:

1. Ask for the name of the CEO or President (this is fun because it makes them very nervous when you ask and they have to tell you. If not, just ask for a supervisor and ask them.)
2. Ask for the HQ address
3. Write a really long letter of complaint detailing everything and why you are right and they are wrong. If you've got good handwriting, do that. Otherwise just a typed letter with a stamp that shows up addressed to the Head Cheese is so unusual, you'll definitely get attention.
4. Know that it never really gets to the Prez, but it will be handled by the Executive Assistant.
5. Be convincing and you can prevail!

I've done this several times with excellent results.

Netflix

(Excerpted from full letter) 
Dear Mr. Hastings,

I’ve been a Netflix member since February 2001, so this is my 5 year anniversary. I’ve been an extremely happy customer until recently. I know that part of the reason that Netflix has been so successful is the word-of-mouth free advertising from people like me and you’ve expanded your customer base by 1.6 million customers in 2005.

This expansion of the customer base has caused you to “throttle” customers like me who love to watch movies so much and are tired of paying too much at the movie theater and getting kicked from behind and that causes most of the new DVD releases on movies that came out in 2005 to be stuck on my list in long wait or very long wait.

March of the Penguins was released on DVD on Nov. 29, 2005, and I had it on my list from the beginning and at or near the top since then and it is finally supposed to arrive today on Feb. 16, 2006. Netflix is one of the reasons I don’t go out the movies that often because the DVD is released within six months, but now I have to wait another three months because I like watching movies.

Below is the current top of my queue:
Deal of the Century - Very Long Wait

What really burns me up is that Deal of the Century is an old movie that just got released this week and Netflix didn’t even have it on the list until I send three title requests and now I have to wait up to four months.

***  I got Deal of the Century 3 days after I sent this letter ***

DirectTV

(Excerpted from full letter)
Dear Mr. Carey,

When I got my first NFL bill this year, which was over two months before the NFL season starts, I was out of work and thought I was going to lose my house and paying for the NFL package two months in the future just didn't seem like a good idea when I wouldn't have any satellite dish in my future.  As you can imagine, I was under a lot of stress.  When I cancelled, I wasn’t told that there were any consequences if I wanted to sign up again the future.

I was told there is no way to go back to my NFL Sunday Ticket only plan.  I find it hard to believe that DIRECTV would treat a longtime loyal customer this way.  

I would like to complain directly about Natalie D. #400866.  She emailed me on 9/6 and asked for my phone number and said she would call me, but I was never called. 

I’m going to cc the NFL Commissioner, Roger Goodell, and ask him to not renew your exclusive contract when it expires.  Maybe he can find a company that treats its customers better. I don’t expect anything, but maybe you’ll treat the next customer in a similar situation with a better understanding.

*** I got a call from Mr. Carey's Exec Assistant and we worked it all out and now I'm grandfathered in ***

Here is my most recent complaint.  If I get results, I'll let you know.  I'm going back in a couple of weeks.

My Dentist's Waiting Room

That Oral Cancer video on the TV in the waiting room is very depressing.  I was waiting for about 12-15 minutes and I kept hearing oral lesion over and over again. It was making me sick. There's one scene when this lady says she got diagnosed with oral cancer and she told her twin sister. Then they show a bunch of clouds with the camera moving upwards and there's a heavenly chorus going Laaaaaa - it's like you are dead and going to Heaven!  Brutal.  Then the lady comes back and she's crying and says her sister is very worried or something like that.

Please change the video to episodes of Lost or something fun and uplifting...  I know it's an ad for the cancer screening, but it's not good.  Show someone getting Hollywood Veneers and having a great new smile or something happy!  That's my advice.