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The Music Curmudgeon

Hey music, get off my lawn.

My wife and I like to play this game while we drive. Wait, stop right there. By “play this game,” I clearly mean I rant for long stretches of time and my wife tolerates my bombastic nonsense while she plays Boggle on her iPhone.

Anyway, the game is simple, I find songs on the satellite radio and then I pass judgment on them. It turns out I’m the music curmudgeon; basically I want to tell all of the music to get off my damn lawn.

Of all the bad songs in all the world, the one that always turns up on my radio is Bob Seger’s “Old Time Rock N’ Roll.” I’m not a fan of songs about songs in the first place, but then Bob writes a modern song to complain about modern songs? Then every wedding DJ colludes with all of your Aunts and Uncles so it becomes the song to get the old people on the dance floor, loose pale flesh wobbling about — it’s just awful.

This week on CVLegends I asked for people to nominate their least favorite song, below are some of the responses:

Sunny Daze - "California Girls" by the Beach Boys.... what? us real cali girls aren't good enough for ya? my cousin & i used to call KYA during the midnight show to have that record "BOMBED"! ;-)

Chris Cartwright - Anything Getty Lee sings.

Annette Sorenson Zak - "Come On Baby Light My Fire,” not big on songs that constantly repeat themselves.

Brian Dobbie - American Pie. Mainly because it's way too long and too many people try to sing it at karaoke. 

Michael Joseph Kusiak - "Hotel California" (and basically anything ascribed to the "classic rock" category). It's kind of like how any California-themed sandwich, particularly outside of California, is a turkey sandwich but suddenly becomes the "California Club" because someone added a little avocado and bean sprouts. Like the use of bean sprouts on a turkey sandwich, you add "California " in your song, and a bad song becomes this defining ballad for everything that is California. A sub genre are songs that name drop geographic references from LA (think, "All I want to do is have some fun (...) until the sun comes up over Santa Monica Boulevard.") 

Kathy Rose Mathisen - “Waiting for the World to Change" by John Mayer. To me, it illustrates everything wrong with today's "young" people. Be the change you wish to see in the world; don't just sit on your butt complaining that you don't like it and hope that it gets better.

Lisa Marie Fabela Arens - With you on the "Old Time". Also Push It -SaltnPepa and Celebrate- Cool & the Gang. Specifically told my wedding DJ NOT to play Celebrate and he did anyway...

Michael Farinha - “Built this City” by Starship. It's a song that my aerobics P.E. teacher overplayed during my freshman year.

Casey Sims - Metallica singing that [expletive] Bob Segar song.

Jennifer Darcey - Least favorite is "Love Shack" by The B-52's and more recently it's been "Crazy" by Gnarls Barkley. They both bug me so bad!!!!

Mike Stansbury - I can't remember the name or most of the lyrics (thank god) but the stupid song starts off with dat da dat da da da dat duh dat da dah duh dut duh duh duh then at some point for no reason at all she sings "instead I pour the milk" - I think that was the most pointless, worthless song I ever heard.. they even used it for a commercial recently.. then follow that with nothing compares to you by skinhead o'conner. that damn song just got stuck in my head one day and i couldn't sleep because it kept playing over and over in my head... and I didn't even like it!

Michael Joseph Kusiak @Mike - Suzanne Vega - "Tom's Diner" She also sang another annoying song called "My Name Is Luca," which you really can't admit to disliking because it's about child abuse.

My wife was a volunteer at the 1996 Atlanta Olympics, and she found herself at one of the cultural events: an evening of music with The Chieftans and Suzanne Vega. It was bad, she said.

Karen Orser Gilbert - I hate hate hate “Cats in the Cradle,” there is no more depressing song out there. "Wildfire" used to be my second hatiest song but has now been replaced by "Just Say What You Need To Say."

Lara Lelis Montano - Anything by...Early-Mid '90s hip-hop and rap like Jodeci, NWA, 2 Live Crew, etc. A few other mid-90s failures: Ace of Base and PM Dawn.

Patrice Herman - This is a good read.. some of the songs mentioned I love and some I agree I hate.. enjoyed reading these posts!

How about you, any of these songs drive you batty? Or do you find yourself wanting to box someone’s ears for lambasting your favorite song ever? Please feel free to join the conversation by visiting www.facebook.com/CVLegends or you can always leave your comments below.

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David Ross May 19, 2013 at 09:47 am
Another problem: When notified of a reply to a comment I could click the link in the email to go toRead More the article. That was not possible this time. So because a small minority zooms there computer the layout should be as it is? I don't think so. All that white space means that an article that could be read with just one or two clicks to scroll through is now going to take more scrolling to view. One thing that seems to be missing in today's world are web designers who (1) change the layout just because and (2) web designers who have neglected to consider the audience. The more I look at this layout the less I like it. The font needs to be darker than it is. the blue (like in "announcements") needs to be bolder. Overall, on a scale of 1 to 10 (10 best), I rank the new "improved" design a 3.
anthony May 19, 2013 at 08:21 am
was on my father's laptop and he zooms his screen to 125...didn't need to keep bumping the pageRead More right and left, kinda liked it then.
David Ross May 19, 2013 at 08:05 am
Why does the new layout waste nearly half of the screen? There's a wide white space on the left andRead More even wider white space on the right. While the old layout could have been tweaked some, the new format isn't the answer. One good thing. I no longer have to sign in each time I want to make a comment. It has finally decided that I'm serious when I say I want Patch to remember me on this computer.
Joyce Tavares May 17, 2013 at 02:10 pm
She is home safe! Was at clinic for about 24 hours....thanks so much to the Boulevard PetRead More Hospital!! You just may have saved a life..... :0)
MICHELLE CLOWSER May 19, 2013 at 10:56 am
This was very successful. Thank you to the 32 families that participated and to Papa Panchos forRead More their generous donations, even above the percentage they promised. It made for a very busy night.